Best Ways To Nurture Healthy Relationships
Hi friends,
We have reached the last domain in our exploration! Thank you for reading, sharing and commenting on all the spheres. Your thoughts and our interactions - from the emails and comments - have made this journey truly special. It’s so reassuring to know that I have your love and blessing. This digital experience has underscored how essential social connectivity is - the need for companionship and a sense of belonging is fundamental to our humanity. Now more than ever, we are faced with how important this inherent need to be in loving, supportive and reciprocal relationships with each other is.
In our i-society (quite the oxymoron) we are often misled by the message that we can and should only depend on ourselves. There is very little emphasis placed on communal living and sharing our gifts, time, and even our idiosyncrasies openly and generously. Interdependence reminds us that we all have something unique to contribute to those with whom we live, love and are inspirited to have good relationships. Understanding that our true purpose is usually discovered, sharpened and celebrated in community, hopefully emboldens us in the pursuit of banding together … because friends, our good health depends on it. As the Jamaican proverb says “one han’ cyah clap” - you need two hands to clap.
“Nurturing and navigating our seasonal and life-long partnerships, while establishing newer ones isn’t always easy. Hopefully, a commitment to healthy and purposeful relationships inspires us to be vulnerable, transparent and authentic. ”
In order for our relationships to flourish, it would be helpful consider how we are choosing to engage. I have found that compassion and curiosity have been foundational to ensure that the others feel valued, and cared for. Consistently showing up, serving in a meaningful way and regarding their essence, despite challenges, truly solidifies and trauma-proofs our bonds. Focusing on their strengths, and taking responsibility for our shortcomings and oversights helps to fortify trust and engender good sentiments.
Here are are some people groups that are integral to my wellbeing. I have also included one way that you can deepen and enhance the bond that you have developed. By the way, please don’t forget to love on your beloveds. Physical touch can be so underrated, but a simple pat on the shoulder, a hug or holding hands (with consent) can convey deep emotions and appreciation.
family - ritualizing bonding time - my mother is the perfect example of ritualized bonding time done well. Whenever our children are with her she does the same activities and cooks the same foods that they enjoy. I bond with our children especially through reading and music. In December I wrap 30 books, and place them under the Christmas tree. The children take turns choosing and unwrapping a book that I read to them before bed each night.
faith community - guidance and accountability - being a part of a faith community definitely helps in refining and increasing my love for God and people. Connecting with more seasoned persons of faith has certainly proven beneficial. The guidance that I receive is invaluable. I have adopted spiritual mothers who serve as guide, friend and counsel. They operate in the prophetic, and often remind me of who I am called to be before I am that. One thing that is really special is that they often pray over and ‘lay hands’ on me. I’m not a big hugger/toucher (please don’t put your hands on me lol) but them caring for me in this way is significant.
friendship - committing to compassion - my desire to love unconditionally has certainly expanded because of my friendships. We are all so very different. There have been periods of distance be it physical or otherwise, disagreements, heated arguments, and deep despair, but mine and their unwavering commitment to ‘loving at all times’ makes these bonds that were formed unbreakable. In friendships, I have come to know that being a friend, makes you a friend. I write my friends letters at the most unexpected times, and they love them. I am also intentional about being present and helpful during times of difficulty … I’m the crisis friend guys lol. The joy experienced in mature friendships is food for the soul.
Mentor/mentee relationships, affinity groups, and volunteerism are some other ways that we can gain social fulfillment but I chose to simply focus on the three above, because I am curious to know:
How are you being intentional about nurturing your relationships?
Here is an assessment (below) to help you gauge how you’re doing in this domain. Please take the quiz and see how you fare. Share with a friend and let’s discuss your results!
Yanique,
your friend and coach