Hi Friends,

I am so excited to share our first exploration into the wellness domains. Guiding us through this domain is Rev. Carlene Reynolds who has been a mentor, guide and confidante. She is a model of emotional wellbeing, and it is a privilege to be continuously impacted by her life. In this post she shares some ways that we can engage our thought life healthily.

Enjoy!!

“Invariably, when I think about emotional well-being, I think of thoughts and of feelings. To me, they hold equal importance in determining the state of our mental health. Our thoughts are informed by our experiences, which shape our life perspective and world view; subsequently, how we think influences our feelings and emotions.

We cannot prevent thoughts from entering our minds, but what we do with them makes the difference.

It is healthy to engage our thoughts when we recognize them as being significant, especially when we perceive them as negative. We can usually tell how significant they are by the intensity of the ‘bad feelings’ they evoke in us. It’s important for us to remember that our thoughts and feelings are simply there to alert us of realities and perceptions that need to be noted and/or addressed.

Being intentional about processing our thoughts protects us from creating the unhealthy habit of suppressing them in an effort to avoid painful feelings - suppression is a threat to our mental health.

There are many things that we experience that can threaten our emotional well-being, so here are a few healthy reminders that I practice in my own life. They may not be new, but they are tried and true. Have friends who are committed to emotional health and will keep you accountable. Authentic relationships where you can be vulnerable about your feelings is vital. Create a rhythm of replenishment and rest. Maintain a healthy diet, get physical activity, take breaks, and get some sleep. Journal. Journaling helps you to observe and bring clarity to your thoughts and feelings. It is also a great way to measure your progress. Silence and Solitude. During the pandemic many of us have been afforded the gift of silence and solitude. Initially, it might have been challenging to accept the shift in our daily routine. However, silence and solitude can serve us greatly in helping us to acknowledge, accept and explore the emotions that we are experiencing. It is important for us to understand that embracing a new routine will at first, be difficult. It might initially feel awkward and mechanical, but with time you will begin to experience the benefits of integrating into your rhythm of self-care.

In addition to those mentioned above, here are two techniques that I have found especially helpful when walking with clients:

1. Practice guided imagery. This is a relaxation technique that you can practice almost anywhere. Remember a time or a place where you were completely at peace. Close your eyes, take yourself back there, allow all your senses to be transported and stay there for as long as you can.

2. The Empty Chair Technique: This simple approach is designed to allow you to work through interpersonal or internal conflict. It helps you see the situation from a different perspective and gain insight into your feelings and behaviors. Here’s how to do it:

   • You sit facing an empty chair. In the chair, you picture a person with whom you are experiencing conflict. Or, you may picture a part of yourself. Then, you speak to the empty chair. You explain your feelings, thoughts, and understanding of the situation. After you’ve shared your side of things, you move to the other chair. Then, you respond to what you just said, from that person’s perspective, taking on their role. You may move back and forth between the chairs several times to continue the dialogue.

And, if you find that your thoughts are overwhelming and have become too difficult to manage it is wise to then seek the assistance of a professional. In the same way that you go to the dentist to examine your teeth, determine a cadence for sitting with a professional to get help working through your feelings. Remember, you don’t have to go through it alone.”

If you’d like to schedule a session to speak with Rev. Reynolds, call the Life Services Center at 718-515-4633.

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